I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
