You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
