The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
