I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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