My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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