are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
