Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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