I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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