I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
