So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
