I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
