Are we in a gay sports bar?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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