i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
cat food counts as protein by the way
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
