You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
