Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
They have beer where we have blood.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
