it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
