Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
