I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
