I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
