based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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