I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we're making bets on your personal life
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
