i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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