i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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