something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
