Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
