p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
