carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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