i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
