I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
