I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
