either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize