My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
