the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
