ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
