So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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