these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
