sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize