Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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