So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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