Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
