Porn is love you can see.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
