At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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