I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
