remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
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