you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
