sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
