Your tits are I can't wait for
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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