There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
