how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize