How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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