I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
