yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
