oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
