If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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