dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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