even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm getting married
To pizza
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
