hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
where am i from again
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
