Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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