I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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