Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
