So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thank you for not boning my boss.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
