I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
