I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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