My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
