a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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