So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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