I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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