Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
