piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
