He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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